What's your number? has become part of my daily life. It's a question I get asked the most and it's on a daily basis. Before diabetes, I did have such a meaningful question that elicited a whole plethora of emotions from those asking about it.
I also hate this question. I know those who ask it mean well, but it just reminds me that my life revolves around these numbers. Diabetes, after all, is a numbers game. The highest and lowest numbers mean death, the mid-range end up causing complications in your quality of life, where anything between the high double digit to low triple digit as paramount.
For those that have no clue what the numbers mean:
< 20 = death
< 30 = seizures, fainting, coma
40 - 80 = low
90 - 110 = normal. This is the number all diabetics aim for especially in the morning. These numbers are also known as fasting numbers. Fasting means not eating.
120 - 130 = pre-diabetic. 125 is the highest your numbers can go two hours after a meal. If it goes over that number, you are diabetic.
140 - 150 = a little on the high side.
160 - 200 = still high.
200 - 300 = complications start occuring
400 - 500 = really high
500 - 800 = DKA
>800 = usually death.
The first time I DKAed, I topped out at 750. The second time, it was 1550. The doctors in the ER said I was the first person they had ever seen still alive with numbers that high.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The frustration of this disease
I'm not normal. I know that already. I have to eat at certain times, I have to sleep at certain times, everything is a routine that I must be dedicated to and adamant about.
I have high blood pressue so I must take high blood pressure pills. Why? Because high blood pressure puts stress on my kidneys. This can lead to kidney failure and the resumification (yes, I just made up that word) of the evilness known as dialysis. I've already had kidney failure twice, I don't think they can handle much more. And I definately do not ever want to be on dialysis again.
But then I find out that there's a new thing, a new development that I have to watch out for which will cause even more dietary restrictions and create a more strict diet : cholesterol. Dum dum dum. It's deadly, extremely deadly. Maybe even more deadly that diabetes. Why is this new development in my life extremely important? Because it turns out injecting insulin causes the arteries to harden. Cholesterol causes plaque build up. Put the two together and I'm a ticking bomb waiting to happen. Add high blood pressure and I'm pretty sure I'm guaranteed a heart attack. To make matters worse, most diabetics die of cardiac related complications. This is what I get to look foward to, contemplating what my ultimate demise will be. Heart attack or DKA. Which one tickles my fancy?
I don't have high cholesterol. Unfortunately, I'm not normal. I have diabetes. And because I have diabetes, my cholesterol must be lower. Bring on the cholesterol meds. Except for one minor problem, I don't want to take cholesterol meds. I know how to bring it down - avocados, garlic. Hell, I've been eating honey nut cherrios for the past two weeks for breakfast.
I really hate this disease. This disease sucks and is evil. I can't think of a disease that's worse than this. No, I was wrong, end stage renal failure is worse. But the fact that I can get end stage renal failure because I have diabetes nulls and voids that. Diabetes, the disease that keeps on ruining one's life. Actually, let me be more detailed, Type 1 Diabetes, the disease that keeps on giving. I just want to slam my head against a wall. Well, that and turn my head up to the sky and scream at the top of my lungs, "What have I done to deserve this?!!?!" And then I remind myself, it could be worse. I could have diabetes and cancer. Or I could be dead. Although, technically if I was dead, I wouldn't have diabetes anymore. Despite this welcoming thought, I still pick life over death. I have so much more to accomplish, so much more to see, and I have this amazing man that I'm a wee bit attached too.
The truth is, I'm not ready to give up my life with Bryan. As sappy as this sounds, love keeps me going.
I have high blood pressue so I must take high blood pressure pills. Why? Because high blood pressure puts stress on my kidneys. This can lead to kidney failure and the resumification (yes, I just made up that word) of the evilness known as dialysis. I've already had kidney failure twice, I don't think they can handle much more. And I definately do not ever want to be on dialysis again.
But then I find out that there's a new thing, a new development that I have to watch out for which will cause even more dietary restrictions and create a more strict diet : cholesterol. Dum dum dum. It's deadly, extremely deadly. Maybe even more deadly that diabetes. Why is this new development in my life extremely important? Because it turns out injecting insulin causes the arteries to harden. Cholesterol causes plaque build up. Put the two together and I'm a ticking bomb waiting to happen. Add high blood pressure and I'm pretty sure I'm guaranteed a heart attack. To make matters worse, most diabetics die of cardiac related complications. This is what I get to look foward to, contemplating what my ultimate demise will be. Heart attack or DKA. Which one tickles my fancy?
I don't have high cholesterol. Unfortunately, I'm not normal. I have diabetes. And because I have diabetes, my cholesterol must be lower. Bring on the cholesterol meds. Except for one minor problem, I don't want to take cholesterol meds. I know how to bring it down - avocados, garlic. Hell, I've been eating honey nut cherrios for the past two weeks for breakfast.
I really hate this disease. This disease sucks and is evil. I can't think of a disease that's worse than this. No, I was wrong, end stage renal failure is worse. But the fact that I can get end stage renal failure because I have diabetes nulls and voids that. Diabetes, the disease that keeps on ruining one's life. Actually, let me be more detailed, Type 1 Diabetes, the disease that keeps on giving. I just want to slam my head against a wall. Well, that and turn my head up to the sky and scream at the top of my lungs, "What have I done to deserve this?!!?!" And then I remind myself, it could be worse. I could have diabetes and cancer. Or I could be dead. Although, technically if I was dead, I wouldn't have diabetes anymore. Despite this welcoming thought, I still pick life over death. I have so much more to accomplish, so much more to see, and I have this amazing man that I'm a wee bit attached too.
The truth is, I'm not ready to give up my life with Bryan. As sappy as this sounds, love keeps me going.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Interesting....Soda = Yeast Infection
Warning: This is a little disgusting and graphic. In fact, it's too much information but I don't care. Please read at your own risk.
Before I was diagnosed I never had a yeast infection in my 25 years of living. It's a feat I'm insanely proud of.
Then I was diagnosed.
I started to get yeast infections, chronic yeast infections. Constant sand that got everywhere, my panties, my bed. Constant itching at all hours of the day. Constant cauliflower discharge that made it impossible to have sex at times. Add overheating and breaking out in hives during the summer, I was in hell. There was no relief.
Since I've my last hospitalization, I have yet to have a yeast infection, the horrible discharge that I would take out by digging it out of my vaginal canal with my fingers (which is not fun and sucks), or uncontrollable itching. It's been amazing. And then *boom* ephinany - what has changed since being in recovery? I don't drink soda at all anymore. The soda was causing my yeast infections.
This all makes sense. Soda raises blood sugar. Blood sugar influences every single part of the body from the brain to each individual cell. Soda causes the ph balance in the vagina to get out of control allowing yeast to breed rapidly. This hostile environment causes raging yeast infections. By not drinking Dr. Pepper, Coke, 7 up, Cherry 7 up, Cream soda, or anything else considered to be soda, I've taken yeast infections out of my life.
It's absolutely amazing considering female diabetics are proned to yeast infections especially pregnant women. Who would of thought soda could be so toxic to the body? Yay for making my quality of life better!
Before I was diagnosed I never had a yeast infection in my 25 years of living. It's a feat I'm insanely proud of.
Then I was diagnosed.
I started to get yeast infections, chronic yeast infections. Constant sand that got everywhere, my panties, my bed. Constant itching at all hours of the day. Constant cauliflower discharge that made it impossible to have sex at times. Add overheating and breaking out in hives during the summer, I was in hell. There was no relief.
Since I've my last hospitalization, I have yet to have a yeast infection, the horrible discharge that I would take out by digging it out of my vaginal canal with my fingers (which is not fun and sucks), or uncontrollable itching. It's been amazing. And then *boom* ephinany - what has changed since being in recovery? I don't drink soda at all anymore. The soda was causing my yeast infections.
This all makes sense. Soda raises blood sugar. Blood sugar influences every single part of the body from the brain to each individual cell. Soda causes the ph balance in the vagina to get out of control allowing yeast to breed rapidly. This hostile environment causes raging yeast infections. By not drinking Dr. Pepper, Coke, 7 up, Cherry 7 up, Cream soda, or anything else considered to be soda, I've taken yeast infections out of my life.
It's absolutely amazing considering female diabetics are proned to yeast infections especially pregnant women. Who would of thought soda could be so toxic to the body? Yay for making my quality of life better!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Michelle + Nyquil do not mix
I've sick for the past week.
Friday, my legs were giving me problems making it nearly impossible to sleep. Add the runny nose and coughing, I was in a pretty bad place.
Bryan says, "Take some Nyquil."
I reply, "But there's sugars in it."
"There can't be that much sugar in the gelcaps."
So I figure, why not. If it allows me to sleep, and my sugars are a little high then it's well worth it.
I wake up Saturday to 142. Not too bad. I take my normal dose, eat my honey nut cheerios and out the door I go.
In the middle of my first client, low blood sugar attacks me. Lead legs, dizziness, and all I can think is great I'm going to go down. Luckily, there's cookies (which I'm not allowed to eat) at work for St. Patricks day. I tell my boss that I'm eating cookies because it's a matter of life or death. After I eat them I feel better and get ready for my second client. Everything goes smoothly.
I have lunch, get my nails done and lie down for 45 minutes. I lie down in order to relax my shoulder which is radiating a horrific amount of pain. When I get up after resting, the dizziness is back and start noticing that I'm gravitating towards the walls. When my blood sugar goes under 90, I tend to lean towards walls as I walk. I check my blood sugar and I'm at 69. It's a little worrisome considering I've already eaten two big sugar cookies with green sprinkles on them. This time I get orange juice.
During my last massage I end up taking a swig of orange juice between each limb.
This is so frustrating. But I learned an important lesson. I haven't taken Nyquil since I was diagnosed in fear what it would do to me. I get pretty anxious when I have to try certain things that could mess with my numbers. I don't like the whole trial and error thing diabetes has forced me to do. Nyquil = low blood sugar. Low blood sugar that takes the whole day and lots of food to bring up. Sure I could use it to my advantage, but I don't feel low blood sugar is worth the hassle. Most people think of it as a way to eat what you can't have. I think of it as a great, now I have to drink, eat, and finger prick more to make sure my numbers are where they should be. That within itself is stressful.
So no more Nyquil for me. I guess I'll have to try the diabetic cold meds and see what happens.
Friday, my legs were giving me problems making it nearly impossible to sleep. Add the runny nose and coughing, I was in a pretty bad place.
Bryan says, "Take some Nyquil."
I reply, "But there's sugars in it."
"There can't be that much sugar in the gelcaps."
So I figure, why not. If it allows me to sleep, and my sugars are a little high then it's well worth it.
I wake up Saturday to 142. Not too bad. I take my normal dose, eat my honey nut cheerios and out the door I go.
In the middle of my first client, low blood sugar attacks me. Lead legs, dizziness, and all I can think is great I'm going to go down. Luckily, there's cookies (which I'm not allowed to eat) at work for St. Patricks day. I tell my boss that I'm eating cookies because it's a matter of life or death. After I eat them I feel better and get ready for my second client. Everything goes smoothly.
I have lunch, get my nails done and lie down for 45 minutes. I lie down in order to relax my shoulder which is radiating a horrific amount of pain. When I get up after resting, the dizziness is back and start noticing that I'm gravitating towards the walls. When my blood sugar goes under 90, I tend to lean towards walls as I walk. I check my blood sugar and I'm at 69. It's a little worrisome considering I've already eaten two big sugar cookies with green sprinkles on them. This time I get orange juice.
During my last massage I end up taking a swig of orange juice between each limb.
This is so frustrating. But I learned an important lesson. I haven't taken Nyquil since I was diagnosed in fear what it would do to me. I get pretty anxious when I have to try certain things that could mess with my numbers. I don't like the whole trial and error thing diabetes has forced me to do. Nyquil = low blood sugar. Low blood sugar that takes the whole day and lots of food to bring up. Sure I could use it to my advantage, but I don't feel low blood sugar is worth the hassle. Most people think of it as a way to eat what you can't have. I think of it as a great, now I have to drink, eat, and finger prick more to make sure my numbers are where they should be. That within itself is stressful.
So no more Nyquil for me. I guess I'll have to try the diabetic cold meds and see what happens.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Sick days
Everyone gets sick. It's part of life. Usually you self medicate using dayquil, muscinex, and what have you. If those OTC meds don't work, then you go to the doctor and get antibiotic.
Sick days are hard for diabetics. Why? Because if we don't take care of ourselves we can DKA. When a diabetic's body releases those illness fighting hormones, blood sugar tends to rise. Add vomiting, the inability to keep down fluids, and a fever and you're a ticking time bomb waiting to happen.
To make things worse, a lot of these OTC meds can contribute to already soaring blood sugars. Each diabetic reacts to these meds differently and most of the time we have to find meds with less sugar in them. Yes, OTC meds have sugar in them.
If we are vomitting, or have a bout of diarrhea, we are not only losing fluids to keep ourselves hydrated, but we are also losing carbs. One would think losing carbs would be a good thing and keep our numbers in check but it does the reverse. It contributes to high blood sugar. If we are unable to keep solid food down then we are forced to drink sports drinks, juice, popsicles and what have you just to keep not only carb count up but also hydrated. The last thing a diabetic needs is to be dehydrated during this time.
Then there's the finger pricking every four hours to make sure the sugars are below 240 and in some cases taking a higher dose of insulin. The biggest thing I have to remember is to take my insulin whether or not I'm eating just so my numbers stay away from the lets go to the ER numbers.
What was once viewed as a way to get out of school and stay home is now viewed as something that can be potentially fatal. To me, sickness = death.
And here I am sick, trying not to freak out. Luckily, Bryan (who is also sick) has been keeping a close eye on me making me get up and talk. I think in his head, if I whine, then I'm not dying which is a good sign. Meanwhile, I try to remind myself that all I need to do is stay hydrated, take my insulin, and rest and I'll be back to normal in no time.
Sick days are hard for diabetics. Why? Because if we don't take care of ourselves we can DKA. When a diabetic's body releases those illness fighting hormones, blood sugar tends to rise. Add vomiting, the inability to keep down fluids, and a fever and you're a ticking time bomb waiting to happen.
To make things worse, a lot of these OTC meds can contribute to already soaring blood sugars. Each diabetic reacts to these meds differently and most of the time we have to find meds with less sugar in them. Yes, OTC meds have sugar in them.
If we are vomitting, or have a bout of diarrhea, we are not only losing fluids to keep ourselves hydrated, but we are also losing carbs. One would think losing carbs would be a good thing and keep our numbers in check but it does the reverse. It contributes to high blood sugar. If we are unable to keep solid food down then we are forced to drink sports drinks, juice, popsicles and what have you just to keep not only carb count up but also hydrated. The last thing a diabetic needs is to be dehydrated during this time.
Then there's the finger pricking every four hours to make sure the sugars are below 240 and in some cases taking a higher dose of insulin. The biggest thing I have to remember is to take my insulin whether or not I'm eating just so my numbers stay away from the lets go to the ER numbers.
What was once viewed as a way to get out of school and stay home is now viewed as something that can be potentially fatal. To me, sickness = death.
And here I am sick, trying not to freak out. Luckily, Bryan (who is also sick) has been keeping a close eye on me making me get up and talk. I think in his head, if I whine, then I'm not dying which is a good sign. Meanwhile, I try to remind myself that all I need to do is stay hydrated, take my insulin, and rest and I'll be back to normal in no time.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
The importance of sleep
I'm going to breifly take a break from the whole writing the coma dreams, because I have no clue how to explain the second one I had.
Today's topic: Sleep.
Sleep is important for numerous reasons. Cognitively, it allows the brain to destress and relax which improves brain functioning. Psychologically, it allows the mind to go through the day on it's own accord hence dreams. Dreams allow a person to deal with daily life and the stress that comes with it abstractively. Physically, it allows the body to rest. Without sleep, sleep deprivation occurs which can cause a whole onslew of problems such as hallucinations, metabolic disarray, and if extreme enough, physical and cogntive breakdown.
Sleep is a little more important to diabetics. Why? Blood sugar control. Sure you take the nighttime insulin but unless you sleep, it doesn't work like it should. The whole purpose of taking the long lasting active insulin at night is to smooth the pot holes that are blood sugar spikes that you can't control while you sleep. As the body goes through various sleep cycles, these spikes occur.
But what happens if you can't sleep? What happens you you lie there awake patiently waiting to fall asleep and it eludes you What if when you finally do sleep, it only amounts to about 4 hours?
Well, you're screwed.
As you lay conscious, waiting for sleep, you're still active as you toss and turn desperately trying to find that perfect spot to relax. Which means you stress. Stress causes adrenaline and cortisol levels to go up meaning your blood sugar goes up. Instead of getting your morning numbers between 90 - 110, they become 150 - 500. And then you have the rest of the day trying to figure out how you can bring those numbers down to a safe level. Even worse, if those are your fasting numbers on a daily basis, then sooner or later you'll DKA.
Since February, I haven't been sleeping well. First it was the muscle spasm, then the burning feet sensation. My numbers vary. But lately, I've noticed that my biggest problem is the fan that's on while I attempt to sleep. Bryan can't sleep without the fan on, and as it turns out, I can't sleep with the fan on. So I've been going to bed before him in hopes that I'll be out cold by the time he comes to bed turning the fan on. Only problem is he wake me up everytime he comes to bed by kissing my back or moving me and the next thing I know I'm up for the next two or more hours because of that damn fan. On top of that, the fan makes me cold and Bryan tends to hog the blanket making my feet cold. If my feet are cold, the rest of me is cold. No to mention with the apartment on at 70 with a fan on high, and I'm 110 pounds with hardly any body fat, I'm more prone to be cold. When I'm cold, I can't sleep. See the chain reaction.
To make matters worse, he won't compromise. Or he will, as long as the fan is still on. My husband's killing me, he just fails to realize it. So back to an extra blanket I go, in the beginning of March where I'll probably start complaining about how hot I get underneath it. All I want to do is be able to sleep. And the sad thing is, when he gets up for the day and turns the fan off for me, 10 minutes later I'm out like a light. Sometimes, I really hate marriage.
Today's topic: Sleep.
Sleep is important for numerous reasons. Cognitively, it allows the brain to destress and relax which improves brain functioning. Psychologically, it allows the mind to go through the day on it's own accord hence dreams. Dreams allow a person to deal with daily life and the stress that comes with it abstractively. Physically, it allows the body to rest. Without sleep, sleep deprivation occurs which can cause a whole onslew of problems such as hallucinations, metabolic disarray, and if extreme enough, physical and cogntive breakdown.
Sleep is a little more important to diabetics. Why? Blood sugar control. Sure you take the nighttime insulin but unless you sleep, it doesn't work like it should. The whole purpose of taking the long lasting active insulin at night is to smooth the pot holes that are blood sugar spikes that you can't control while you sleep. As the body goes through various sleep cycles, these spikes occur.
But what happens if you can't sleep? What happens you you lie there awake patiently waiting to fall asleep and it eludes you What if when you finally do sleep, it only amounts to about 4 hours?
Well, you're screwed.
As you lay conscious, waiting for sleep, you're still active as you toss and turn desperately trying to find that perfect spot to relax. Which means you stress. Stress causes adrenaline and cortisol levels to go up meaning your blood sugar goes up. Instead of getting your morning numbers between 90 - 110, they become 150 - 500. And then you have the rest of the day trying to figure out how you can bring those numbers down to a safe level. Even worse, if those are your fasting numbers on a daily basis, then sooner or later you'll DKA.
Since February, I haven't been sleeping well. First it was the muscle spasm, then the burning feet sensation. My numbers vary. But lately, I've noticed that my biggest problem is the fan that's on while I attempt to sleep. Bryan can't sleep without the fan on, and as it turns out, I can't sleep with the fan on. So I've been going to bed before him in hopes that I'll be out cold by the time he comes to bed turning the fan on. Only problem is he wake me up everytime he comes to bed by kissing my back or moving me and the next thing I know I'm up for the next two or more hours because of that damn fan. On top of that, the fan makes me cold and Bryan tends to hog the blanket making my feet cold. If my feet are cold, the rest of me is cold. No to mention with the apartment on at 70 with a fan on high, and I'm 110 pounds with hardly any body fat, I'm more prone to be cold. When I'm cold, I can't sleep. See the chain reaction.
To make matters worse, he won't compromise. Or he will, as long as the fan is still on. My husband's killing me, he just fails to realize it. So back to an extra blanket I go, in the beginning of March where I'll probably start complaining about how hot I get underneath it. All I want to do is be able to sleep. And the sad thing is, when he gets up for the day and turns the fan off for me, 10 minutes later I'm out like a light. Sometimes, I really hate marriage.
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