Fiesta Meat = Evil!

When you have this disease, you are constantly learning about it.

As it turns out, anything can cause a diabetic to DKA. Pregnancy. A Cold. Walking Pnemonia. Flu. Stomach bug. Food poisoning. And it can be fatal.

I didn't know this. We didn't know this.

The symptoms were even different. The only thing that coorelated was the vomitting.

The day before Bryan found me unconscious on the couch, I was at Mum's. She had made a puerto rican pork roast the previous day and made me a sandwich out of the meat. By the time I came home, I had no clue how I got there and was a little confused. By early morning on the day I DKAed, I had started throwing up. I knew the meat wasn't settlng well with me and that I had to sleep it off. Turns out I got food poisoned which led to my hospitalization.

Yesterday, on the way to Barnes and Noble, Mum was telling me how she went to Fiesta to get groceries. With my new knowledge about diabetes and DKAing, I asked her where she got the meat. I've never gotten sick off of meat from Krogers or HEB where she normally gets her meat. And everyone knows that you should not get meat from Foodtown or Fiesta.

"I got the pork roast from Fiesta because it's the only place I can find the pork I need," she replied.

And that's when I realized, if I hadn't eaten that damn sandwich at Mum's, I would not have DKAed. I wouldn't be in this evil recovery stage. I wouldn't have to build up my stamina again. I wouldn't have to take it one massage at a time at work. I wouldn't have been in ICU or gone through dialysis. And now I'm angry. I'm angry at having to go through everything all over again because Mum doesn't know that certain food at certain places is not premium quality. It's just one more thing she's done to ruin me. First it was not paying for grad school when she promised she would pay it. Then it was deciding not to pay for my wedding because she didn't have the money when in reality she didn't like Bryan and thought it was a bad idea. Although she did pay for the dress, the whole process was a stuggle. After that, ruining my credit score which makes it hard to qualify for a pre-approved loan on a house. That in itself was stressful. And now this. And in between nick picking at everything I do.

Sure, it might look like I'm blaming most of my adult life on her, but I'm not. You would think I would have learned by now that she is completely unreliable with things that do not affect her life. But why would you say, 'Hey, I'll pay for this' and then decide not to do it. Then criticize the paths I have chosen. But in her head, it's her giving advice. No matter how many times I ask her not to voice her opinions when I talk to her, she interrupts me midsentence when I'm not even done explaining things. And the worst part is, I've known for years that interpersonal communication is not her strong suite. Do you know how crippling it is when you realize you can't depend on you own mother for help, to be a good listener, and be there when I need her? On top of that, she takes the credit for all my accomplishments and pleasing characteristics because she raised me. I'm not a positive person because of her, I'm not ambitious because of her, I'm not a well rounded person because of her. It's so frustrating.

And who does she blame?

She blames Bryan, of course. If he had realized you were DKAing when he checked up on you, and took you to the hospital you wouldn't have been near death. Well, Mum, when he came to check in on me during his lunch break, I was functional and looked like I was getting better (even though I don't remember anything after texting my boss that I wasn't going to work). So I was alive and getting over food poisoning when he went back to work. Maybe if you didn't buy food from Fiesta which you never did before, what happened wouldn't have happened.  I mean how can you not know not to buy meat from there. Seriously.